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Disguised as Exmoor Militia you run distraction in New Canton while Janine goes after the real prize the Minister's fuel dump Cast * Janine De Luca * Dr Necropolis * Jody Marsh * Sam Yao Plot Not Too Quickly! Today you're leading the Minister's soldiers away from their fuel dump, using some strategic explosions and disguised as Exmoor Militia. This should give Janine enough time to take the fuel. Slowing Down Sigrid's Troops Peter's with you on this run as you head through a sewage works. He wonders why you specifically need the Minister's fuel supply when you could just go to a petrol station. Mind The Chickens! You use New Canton's new no weapons policy to keep up the chase without getting shot at. In the market you're spotted again, so it's time to pick up the pace. First To Fall's A Rotten Egg! As only a third of the fuel's been siphoned off you'll need to run distraction for while longer. Sam points out a route to your meeting point with Jody, through an old refrigeration unit, hidden behind a novelty teapot stall. No Choice. Get Out Of There You and Peter arrive at the shooting gallery to pick up some guns Jody's smuggled in. Unfortunately the Minister's soldiers have had the same idea. To avoid casualties you'll have to leave the way Jody came in. Exmoor Militia All Along Jody's objection to returning the way she came in has nothing to do with zombies. Sam has an escape plan that will also maintain your cover as Exmoor Militia. A Bounty On Your Heads The plan works and the Ministry and Exmoor Militia are distracted by each other, allowing you to escape. Your luck has to run out some time though; Peter tells you he overheard there's a bounty on your heads. S05E06 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript gunshots JANINE DE LUCA: Well done, Runner Five. You’ve got their attention. SAM YAO: If, by “got their attention,” Janine means got Sigrid’s heavily-armed soldiers to shoot a lot of bullets very close to your head, then yes. You’ve definitely “got their attention.” JANINE DE LUCA: Runner Five, please ensure that the purloined Exmoor Militia jacket we gave you is visible at all times. SAM YAO: Because the Exmoor Militia won’t be at all annoyed when they find out we’re pretending to be them. JANINE DE LUCA: The mission briefing is clear. Last night, we planted sufficient explosives to simulate the loss of the Minister’s entire fuel dump here. Now we’ve set them off, the Minister’s soldiers will pursue - SAM YAO: Yeah, the Minister’s twenty – counts oh, twenty-seven very heavily-armed soldiers. JANINE DE LUCA: Soldiers are pursuing Runner Five, as anticipated, leaving the fuel dump itself unattended so that our people can siphon off the remaining fuel, which Sigrid believes to have been destroyed in an act of aggression by the Exmoor Militia. You have two crucial tasks, Five. Firstly, maintain your disguise as a member of the Exmoor Militia. Secondly, ensure that the soldiers continue their pursuit of you. You must not draw too far ahead. Our people need enough time to take that fuel. SAM YAO: Basically, keep running, Five. JANINE DE LUCA: Not too quickly! SAM YAO: But fast enough. Run! gunshots PETER: Over here, Five! Oh, that Exmoor Militia jacket suits you much better than me, I must say. I’m a ?, you know. SAM YAO: Okay. Um, Peter. Uh, we’re trusting you with this mission because uh, because Janine… well, she said you wanted to help, and um, well, obviously uh, you’ve just arrived and you’ll be keen to, you know, make your mark… PETER: And because it’s one of those missions where if I – a stranger to you all – end up getting shot, it’ll actually help with verisimilitude? SAM YAO: Uh, well, now Janine didn’t say that… PETER: I know how she thinks. It’s alright, you know. I don’t expect any of you to trust me instantly. Five, we’ll lead them chase through those sewage works, and then to New Canton, right? SAM YAO: That’s the plan. Which Janine has given me on twenty-eight dot matrix printed sheets. I mean, it’s nice that the tech at Noah Base works, but it’s a bit, you know, retro. PETER: Won’t work at all if we can’t keep our generators going. Actually, why are we stealing fuel from Sigrid? Wouldn’t a petrol station be easier? SAM YAO: Well, because – rustles because sighs - “Much of the petrol in the United Kingdom has now deterioriated past usability. The Minister’s own supply was specially treated to retard this process. In addition to securing fuel for our own use, this will provide us with more proof that the Minister was prepared for impending apocalypse.” PETER: That’s Janine. Never hit a single bird with a single stone. And look, she’s arranged a nice holiday for us at a sewage works. It’s like she knows what I like: the stink of effluent, the sound of bubbling manure… oh yeah, and about two dozen poo-smeared zombies. SAM YAO: Ugh. Quick, slip between the sludge tank and that industrial effluent inflow pipe. PETER: You say the most romantic things. SAM YAO: Ugh, those zoms are dripping! Don’t let them touch you. I mean, don’t let them touch you because they’re zoms, but also because they must smell really really terrible. gunshots PETER: Still, looks like they’re serving their purpose: slowing down Sigrid’s troops, but not putting them off completely. SAM YAO: Just make sure those zoms don’t take a chunk out of you before you get to New Canton. Run! gunshots PETER: Blimey, New Canton’s changed since I was last here. SAM YAO: When were you last here? PETER: Oh, you know. A while ago. When did it get so shady-looking? And when did it get armed guards at the gates? GUARD: Weapons please. PETER: We don’t have any, but I’ll accept a pat down just for shits and giggles. SAM YAO: Now, when Sigrid’s soldiers follow you, they’ll take their guns as well. Then you can let them keep sight of you without getting shot at so much. PETER: I suppose that would be nice. Didn’t find anything there, mate? GUARD: Welcome to Fort Canton, the last neutral territory in the east. opens SAM YAO: Keep moving. Sigrid’s people will be through in a minute or two. PETER: Since when is New Canton “neutral territory”? And since when does it have this Neverwhere market vibe? SAM YAO: There was a coup against the Permanent Advisory Council. New Canton’s set up as a meeting ground-cum-black market. PETER: Ooh, like Casablanca! SAM YAO: Uh, yeah, I was going to say the Mos Eisley Cantina, but yeah, same diff. Okay, my old maps are all out of date, uh, but it’s only been a few weeks. They can’t have changed things around that much, can they? No, wait, forget I said that. That’s like saying, “Nothing can possibly go wrong with my flawless plan.” Wait, what was I talking about? PETER: I think you were building up to giving us directions? SAM YAO: Ah, yeah. Okay. Uh, cross that courtyard up ahead, the one that used to be the netball courts, and now looks like a livestock market? No, hang on. Oh, it’s a cock fighting ring. What is wrong with some people? squawks PETER: Don’t tread on that chicken, Five. It’s got a very mean face. SAM YAO: It really has. Sort of reminds me of Mildred Van der Graaf. SOLDIER: There they are. Get them! PETER: Well, looks like we’ve been spotted, which is good, but also bad. SAM YAO: Run! I mean, mind the chickens and stay in sight, but also, run! PETER: How’s it going, Sam? SAM YAO: Janine’s running the op back at the fuel dump. They’ve only siphoned off about a third of it so far, so you’ll need to keep those soldiers distracted for a while longer. Okay, uh, just checking route options. Uh, you see that door to your left? PETER: There’s no door, there’s only a stall selling… novelty tea pots. Who on earth wants a novelty tea pot these days? SAM YAO: Quite a lot of people, apparently. Uh, well, the door’s got to be behind the stall. Um, try going to the back. NOVELTY TEA POT SELLER: Ooh, I see your eyes are drawn to that rather lovely Snoopy tea pot. Wait, what are you doing? PETER: I can’t see anything. All this junk is in the way. tea pots shatter NOVELTY TEA POT SELLER: What have you done to my tea pots? PETER: Uh, yes. Sorry. Uh, here. Have three batteries to say sorry? Got it. There’s a hinge, see, Five? The door must be behind this poster of Marge Simpson. rips, door creaks open Come on, Five. Through here – so slippy, I can hardly stay standing. Here, Five, grab my arm. Might give us a bit more balance. SAM YAO: Uh, yeah. The map says that’s the old refrigeration unit. PETER: It’s leaking. The floor’s covered in gunk. Did they spot us? SAM YAO: Yep. They’re coming up to the tea pot stall now. Listen, Jody’s waiting to rendezvous with you at the old shooting range. She smuggled some weapons in, but you need to pick up the pace. PETER: We’re trying. Come on, Five. First one to fall over’s a rotten egg. JODY MARSH: Guys! Guys, over here. PETER: Jody. You’re a sight for sore eyes. JODY MARSH: Uh, yeah? Look, I’ve got guns and ammo. Seriously, you don’t know what I went through to get here, Five, and I hope you never find out. There are some things people aren’t meant to see. squeals FORT CANTON CITIZEN: There they are! Exmoor Militia, the Minister said we had a deal. When we have a vaccine, you get a vaccine. Why are you turning against us? Surrender now, and we’ll be merciful. PETER: Uh, yeah. I don’t think their mercy is much to be relied on. gunshots JODY MARSH: I thought you said they weren’t armed? PETER: They weren’t! Look, someone’s handing guns to them. Looks like they had the same idea we had. JODY MARSH: The plan was for us to be armed and them not, so we could fire a few shots in the air and keep them following us. SAM YAO: You need to get out of there, fast. Janine’s plan is – to run through the crowd? PETER: No! No more collateral damage. Tea pots are one thing, but I don’t put other people at risk anymore. Jody, take us back the way you came in. JODY MARSH: Oh no. I’m not going back in there. SAM YAO: No choice. Get out of there, now! SAM YAO: Okay, you’re nearly at the New Canton perimeter, guys. It’s just through that gate, and then across a couple of fields. But Sigrid’s people are close behind. You really do need to get moving. JODY MARSH: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God! PETER: You better open that gate, Five. I think Jody’s gone catatonic. creaks open Oh, the field’s clear. Whatever you saw before is gone, Jody. There’s nothing here. Safe run home for us. JODY MARSH: What do you mean, nothing? Look over there! Look at them! PETER: Look at the alpacas? JODY MARSH: Aw, don’t say that word! SAM YAO: What, alpacas? PETER: What’s wrong with alpacas? JODY MARSH: Stop saying it! My mom took me to a city farm once, and they – oh, no, I can’t even talk about it. PETER: But they’re adorable! They’ve got that little mop of hair over their eyes, and long wobbly legs, and they look like they’re smiling! Oh, you should like them, Jody. Their coats make the best wool. JODY MARSH: How do you know I like knitting? PETER: I didn’t. It was just a general observation. Everyone knows alpaca wool is the best. SAM YAO: I didn’t. PETER: Well, yeah, but you’d know it if you had the Demons and Darkness knitting expansion pack. SAM YAO: Right. How do you know so much about us, Peter? PETER: I developed amazing telepathic powers while working at the circus? SAM YAO: I’m serious. PETER: Look. There’s no big mystery. That radio propaganda piece about you was quite detailed. Although Sam, I’m pretty sure you didn’t explode the ice cream tower for the kicks. SAM YAO: What… sighs Never mind. I just got a message through. The other team’s finished with the fuel extraction. Runners Two, Seventeen, and Twenty-one are heading back to Noah. I think Eric’s particularly pleased he’ll be able to hook up an arc light to work on his… his whittling? JODY MARSH: Does that mean we can shake the soldiers now, and get away from the, you know, the a-word? SOLDIER: Over there! gunshots PETER: Well, we can try. SAM YAO: I have got a plan. There’s a hole in the fence ahead of you, and then – aha, yes. Yes, yes, I am a genius. This isn’t in Janine’s plan, but I spotted a few Exmoor Militia soldiers encamped up the track to your left. If we lead them there, Sigrid really will think you were Exmoor Militia all along. Run! gunshots SAM YAO: That’s great, guys! The Exmoor Militia and Sigrid’s soldiers are really going for each other. Now, I don’t want to brag, but I think that was one of my better plans. JODY MARSH: It was brilliant, Sam. Only it has kind of left us in the middle of a massive firefight. shouts SAM YAO: What happened? Are you shot? PETER: Fine! It’s only a flesh wound. JODY MARSH: It doesn’t look like a flesh wound. PETER: See? Barely a scratch. But we’ve got to get out of here. SAM YAO: That road between those two low hills. If you run down it, you should be shielded from both sides. JODY MARSH: Come on! I hate being shot at! I think I’d rather be eaten by zombies. SAM YAO: No, you wouldn’t. JODY MARSH: Yeah. No, sorry. Still, I’d rather be chased by zombies! You know where you are with a zombie. PETER: What about alpacas? JODY MARSH: Stop saying that word! SAM YAO: You’re through. Great job, guys. JODY MARSH: The Exmoor Militia won’t know it was us, will they? We’re not making enemies by running around in their jackets? PETER: Oh, I think you’ve got bigger enemies than that to worry about. I heard the news around Fort Canton. Sigrid’s put a bounty on your heads.Category:Season Five Category:Mission